“Raghu park la untaadu . Vaaram rojulu velite andulo telusukodaniki kottavemi undavu. Sanju adavi. Rojuko surprise istaadu. Chachedaka”
[Raghu is like a park. If you walk around it for a week there won’t be anything new to explore it further. Sanjay is like a forest. Everyday would be a surprise till the end of your life]
This is one of the good dialogues which registered in my mind ever since I saw JALSA (telugu movie) for the first time. It was part of the persuasion by Heroine’s sister to make Heroine realise Hero’s love.
When I recently listened to the dialogue once again, It has led to a deeper introspection. I asked myself to which category I belong to. First I felt I don’t even fall into the category of park. I need to change a lot. But, after a couple of weeks, my learning is a bit different which I would like to discuss in detail.
Firstly, yes, Life need not be a boring exercise. There should be difference between a programmed robot and a normal human being. Our time is very short here. There is a lot to explore in this world. The sooner we realise it the better it is. Otherwise, we will be just existing but not actually living life. Have you ever felt bored? . I had. I felt my day boring many times especially when I didn’t have interest to study in last four years. In hindsight, I can say that I did not spend much time in nurturing my interests, playing games, going to gym or exploring the city & nearby places. Probably this is the reason I thought I am not even a park. This acceptance is the starting point for a positive change.
I remember studying from the book named “Unposted Letters”, anything plus acceptance creates a positive emotion and anything plus non-acceptance creates a negative emotion. For instance, assume someone is doing better in studies or living happier than me. Inability to digest this fact generates jealousy in me which in extreme cases would lead to stress, anxiety and other issues. But, acceptance of the scenario will help me to learn from the other person by taking inspiration from him or her. It creates positive changes in my life.
At the same time, Don’t be too harsh on yourself in haste to categorise yourself into a particular class-park or forest- which was defined by someone else. Human beings are different. Everyone is unique. You define to which category you belong to. For something you lost, you would have gained different. You define your priorities.
My priority in last four years was becoming a Civil servant. Atleast I was happy doing what I wanted to do in life while I was preparing for civil services. Very few people have the courage to follow their dreams. I am blessed to be one among them. I also took enough interest in analyzing the quotes , writing poems and motivating my friends in times of need. I enjoyed it. I found meaning for my life in the gratitude and reciprocation shown to me by my friends.
So don’t change yourself unless and until you feel the change for anyone else. Period. It is said ” If you trade your originality for something or someone, sooner or later you would eventually lose that something or someone for which you sacrificed your original character”. Especially when you like someone, you tend to change yourself to impress them and to gain their love. If that change is in tune with the change you also really wanted, then love makes life beautiful and you experience bliss. But if you are changing your principles and idea of life just to gain someone’s love, it leads to frustration and eventually you experience hell here itself.
The life you experience now is the result of your past decisions. These were the decisions made by YOU based on the dynamics of prevailing circumstances at the time of decision making. You felt that was the better decision at that respect your decisions. Good or bad decisions depend on the consequences. You can make efforts to make the consequences good and thereby decisions. It is in your hands.
One may say that was not my decision but my parents or life partner compelled me to. Please recognise that by not taking own decision you have already taken decision to accept others’ choice. So you cannot blame others. It is your responsibility. Learn to make decisions. How? – I am also learning. I will discuss it in next article.